Be glad you don’t understand. Seriously. Your body and brain work the way a human’s brain should. It takes you away from the depths and up to sanity. You don’t worry about whether the world you perceive is reality or your brain messing with you again.

Depression, addiction, suicide… they are all part of the same illness cycle. I believe that someday we will find a brain chemical is to blame for the lies all three diseases tell those who suffer from them.

To be sane is something I long for. My husband at times seems like an unknowable creature to me because he doesn’t fight these battles. He is sane and rational. (Ok.. rational in most things…) He doesn’t have to question what his brain tells him. He knows it doesn’t lie. Like you, he cannot fathom what my brain tells me is truth when he sees it is a lie.

Someday, there will be a fix for brains that lie to their humans. Someday, but not today. Until that day, we suffer. We try to do better. We fight our instincts. We do our best to survive.