LeMar, my friend. I understand. Possibly better than you could know. Our son was an older child adoption. He came to us at five and a half — a month before starting kindergarten. He came with a brother two years older. Mom had abandoned the two of them and the sister who is between them in age. She left them several times at the Crisis Nursery in PHX. When he was 18 months old, the three of them were taken into state care. 5 or 6 placements later, they moved in with us. We raised our son, his brother went back to the system.

Their story is much like your stepdaughter’s. Our son idolized his big brother and his mother. Nothing would change that for many years. But, when he started to pull his life back together, he began to see them both as they really were. Him learning that lesson was hard to watch — but it wasn’t something we could keep from happening.

I can’t tell you it will be easy for your step-daughter to learn who she can trust and who she can’t. I can tell you that she will love the way you care for her for the rest of your life. That I can guarantee.

She is lucky to have you. That I can guarantee as well.